Everyone has a self-image, and often it is a favorable one. It's perfectly natural to want to see ourselves affirmatively: as wise, responsible, intelligent, careful, observant, courageous, generous, thoughtful of others, good image to others. This desire is part of the larger desire to be good people, people of character, and to live up to the demanding standards that are required.
Unfortunately, those natural and healthy desires often prompt us to resort to face-saving maneuvers. Face-saving is attempting to preserve our self-image or the image we project to others when some unpleasant reality threatens it. The child who loses his temper and punches his playmate, for example, will say, "It's not my fault; she made me do it by laughing at me." The adult who makes a costly mistake at work will explain, "I couldn't help it; the directions I was given were misleading." Both are trying to save face, to find an excuse for their behavior. Most people are quick to accept praise but slow to accept blame. (A good example of these twin characteristics is the way many students speak of their grades: They'll say, "I got a B", but "The professor gave me a D.")
It would seem that fully mature, emotionally balanced individuals should be able to draw the line at these relatively modest maneuvers and not go beyond them. That is, they should be able to resist projecting onto others the share of blame they themselves deserve. In fact, many people do so most of the time. Yet no one behaves maturely in every situation.
FACE-SAVING SITUATION
All of us have moments when we strive unreasonably, and often unconsciously, to protect our image. For some of us, those moments occur when a particular aspect of our image is involved. Individuals who pride themselves on being good judges of people may be mature and balanced about many things, but when the candidate they voted for is found guilty of misusing his or her office, they may persist in denying the evidence, scream about the hypocrisy of the opposing party, and predict that in years to come the judgment will be reversed. They may do all of this merely to preserve the image of their perceptiveness in judging people.
Similarly, people who believe they possess unusual self-control may deny that they are slaves to smoking or drinking and strain good sense in defending their habit. ("No one has really proved smoking is harmful; besides, it relieves tension" or "I don't drink because I have to but because I enjoy it; I can stop any time I want to.") When people who think of themselves as totally self-sufficient are reminded that they owe someone money, they may find fault with that person for reminding them. Those who see themselves as sensitive to others and completely free of prejudice may denounce anyone who points, however, innocently and constructively, to evidence that suggests otherwise. In each of these cases, the people may act to maintain their favorable self-image.
For many people the need to save face centers around a particular role in their lives:
Sam thinks of himself as a very devoted father who sacrifices for his children and has a close relationship with them. One day during an argument, his son blurts out that for years Sam has been more concerned with his business and his own leisure pursuits than with his children; he has in fact ignored and rejected them. Sam turns to his wife and demands that she tell the boy his charge is untrue. His wife slowly and painfully replies that the charge is essentially true. Sam storms out of the house, angry and hurt, convinced that he has been grievously wronged.
Agnes regards herself as an excellent homemaker. One day her husband suggests that the stove is overdue for cleaning. She becomes angry and accuses her husband of a host of offenses, from insensitivity to her, to selfishness, to rudeness to her parents.
Jackie sees herself as an unusually bright and conscientious student. Whenever the teacher returns a test paper that Jackie has done poorly on, she challenges the fairness of the questions. If this fails to get her grade changed, she paces the corridors and lounges of the campus complaining to her classmate and friends that the teacher is incompetent or dislikes her because of her clothes or religion or point of view. Those courses from which she absents herself regularly, she tells herself, are boring or useless.
For still others it is neither the particular aspect of the image nor the role involved that triggers the face-saving reaction. It is the people who are observing. Are they friends or strangers? Parents or peers? Employers or co-workers? What some people think of us we may not care about at all; what others think we may care about beyond reasonable.
CAUSES AND EFFECTS OF FACE-SAVING
There are different theories as to why people feel the need to save face. One plausible theory, proposed by psychologist Alfred Adler, is that to some extent everyone suffers from feelings of inferiority. Building on this theory, Tomas A. Harris suggests that the early childhood experience, with the feeling of being dominated by adults, leaves everyone feeling somewhat insecure and unconfident in later life.[ "T.A.: Doing OK," Time, August 20, 1973, p.44] This theory helps explain how some people feel such a need to maintain a favorable image that they become defensive about various situations, including not only those in which they do look bad but also those in which they might possibly look bad and even those in which their suspicion of their own inferiority makes them imagine they might.
As the foregoing examples clearly indicate, the face-saving process can block growth in self-awareness by locking us into a rigid and wishful view of our personalities. Less obvious but equally unfortunate, it can pose a serious obstacle to clear thinking. By indulging our fears of unpleasant facts, face-saving leaves us indisposed to inquiry. And by limiting us only to the conclusions that reinforce our self-image, it blocks out the full range of conclusions that deserve consideration.
Just how do these effects occur in real situations? Let's consider three actual cases. In the first, I was discussing a thought-provoking article on marijuana with a college instructor friend. The article, which appeared in the Journal of the American Medical Association, reported the results of a clinical study of marijuana use.[ Harold Kolansky, M.D., and William T. Moore, M.D., "Toxic Effects of Chronic Marijuana Use," Journal of the American Medical Association, October 2, 1972, pp.35-41.] The authors concluded that "contrary to what is frequently reported we have found the effect of marijuana to be not merely that of a mild intoxicant which causes a slight exaggeration of usual adolescent behavior, but a specific and separate clinical syndrome…" the principal effects they noted were "disturbed awareness of the self, apathy, confusion and poor reality testing." They presented the details of thirteen actual cases to demonstrate these effects.
My friend remarked that his own experiences with marijuana while in college showed all these signs and that the changes in his behavior closely paralleded those described in the thirteen cases. That is, he had become careless in his appearance, irritable, and forgetful; had experienced difficulty concentrating on his studies and paying attention in class; and had developed frequent headaches. Yet at that time, he explained, he succeeded in convincing himself that nothing had changed in his behavior, that his courses had merely become less interesting and meaningful, others were annoying him, and so on. Why? Apparently because his self-image – a cool person, very much in control of himself and his behavior, unaffected by his pot smoking – was so important to him that he was willing to deny his own perceptions and the obvious logic of the situation rather than threaten that image. So effective were his face-saving maneuvers, he explained, that more than five years had to pass before he could accept the truth.
The second case concerns a student who was enrolled in a critical thinking class a few years ago. One of the topics for analysis in the course was abortion. A number of exercises were used to identify the various strengths and weaknesses found in the arguments on both sides of the issue. (For example, the tendency of many on the "pro" side to ignore the question of at what point, if any, the fetus acquires human rights; and the tendency of many on the "anti" side to minimize the emotional harm often caused by having an unwanted baby.) one of the later assignments was to observe a televised debate on abortion between two professors and identify the strengths and weaknesses of their arguments.
This student's written analysis said, in effect, that the "pro" professor's argument had no weaknesses at all and that the "anti" professor's was riddled with weaknesses. The student maintained this position in class discussion even though his classmates found significant strengths and weaknesses in both positions. (In fact, a clear majority gave the edge not to the "pro" professor but to the "anti.") Even after the class listened to a tape of the debate that demonstrated that this student had heard wrong in several important instances, he remained convinced that his analysis was correct. The more the evidence mounted against his position, the more strongly he advanced it. "Not giving in" had become a last-ditch device to save face.
The third case involves a college professor. While reading a book that discussed effective teaching, she encountered a chapter that examined a particular classroom practice and showed how it was not only ineffective but actually harmful to learning. As soon as the approach was identified, she recognized it as one of her own favorite approaches. As she read further into the author's criticism of it (she recounted to me later), she began to feel defensive, even angry. "No," she mumbled to herself, "the author is wrong. The approach is a good one. He just doesn't understand." The professor had nothing rational to base these reactions on – just the impulse to save face. No one else was around. Just herself and the author's words. Yet defending the approach, and saving herself the embarrassment of admitting she didn't know as much as she thought she did, became more important than knowing the truth.
It's a mark of the professor's strength of character that as soon as she recognized what she was doing, she checked the tendency and forced herself to consider the author's arguments calmly and reasonably. Surely the temptation not to do so must have been powerful.
CONTROLLING FACE-SAVING TENDENCIES
The harm face-saving does to critical thinking is significant. By prompting us to misinterpret our perceptions and substitute wishful thinking for reality, it leads us to rationalize. Rationalizing is the very opposite of reasoning; whereas reasoning works from evidence to conclusion, rationalizing works from conclusion to evidence. That is, rationalizing starts with what we want to be so and then selectively compiles "evidence" to prove that it is so. Thus face-saving undermines the very process by which we think critically.
Unfortunately, there is probably nothing we can do to eliminate our face-saving tendency. It is too much a part of being human to be disposed of entirely. Nevertheless, we can learn to control it and thereby greatly reduce its effect on our critical thinking. To control your face-saving tendency, begin by admitting that you have it. In addition, persuade yourself that there is no shame in having it because it is a natural tendency; there is only shame in being dishonest with yourself and denying its existence. Then become more aware of your reaction to unpleasant ideas that you hear or read. Try to anticipate occasions of face-saving. Finally, whenever you catch yourself saving face, stop and say, "OK, that's what I want to be so, but what really is so? Where does the truth lie?" By refusing to cooperate with the irrationality within you and demanding that your thinking be uncompromisingly honest rather than merely self-congratulatory, you will soon have your face-saving under control.
APPLICATIONS
1.Recall a situation in which you observed someone else resorting to (or at least seeming to resort to) face-saving devices. Explain what happened. Decide what triggered the face-saving behavior. Was it the particular aspect of the person's image that was threatened, the specific role involved, or the people who were observing? 2.Recall two situations in which you resorted to face-saving devices. For each, follow the directions for application 1. if you have difficulty recalling any situations, look back at the group discussion exercises in previous chapters. (Chances are good that during one of those conversations someone will have challenged your idea and prompted you do resort to face-saving.) 3.Sherri is a sophomore in college. While she is home for spring vacation, she is very irritable with her parents. She seizes every opportunity to criticize them and their values and manages to take offense at their every comment to her. Just before she returns to college, she causes a row in which she accuses them of never having given her enough attention and love. Her parents are at a loss to understand her behavior. What they do not know is that for the past several months she has been living off campus with her boyfriend and using the money her parents send her to help support him. Explain how this fact may have influenced her behavior toward her parents. 4.Read the following dialogue carefully. Identify and indications of face-saving and explain what might have prompted it. Teresa: Abortion is always wrong. There is no such thing as a case in which it is justified. Gail: I just read of case in which I believe it is justified. I think eve you'd agree. Teresa: No way. Gail: It happened in New York. The woman was a twenty-five-year-old ward of the state with the mental capacity of an infant. The doctor she was referred to said she was totally incapable of understanding who she was, let alone what it means to be pregnant. The experience of delivery would have been so traumatic and the consequences so tragic, in the doctor's view, that abortion was the only reasonable course of action.[ "Abortion Sought for Retarded Woman," Binghamton Press, September 23, 1982, p.88.] Even though I'm against abortion, in a case like this I'm convinced it's justified. Teresa: The issue in that case is not whether the woman should be allowed to have an abortion but what should be done to the insensitive slob who took advantage of her retardation and got her pregnant. Capital punishment is too good for creeps like that. 5.A number of communities around the nation have enacted legislation banning the sale or possession of handguns. Many people hail such legislation as an important step toward public safety and the prevention of crime. Many others, however, believe it is a violation of the constitutional guarantee of every citizen's "right to bear arms." Examine this issue critically, taking special care to control your face-saving tendencies. State and support your view of the issue. 6.The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that state, city, and county governments may not hand over their decision-making power to churches. The court's decision nullified a Massachusetts law giving churches a veto power over the (liquor) licensing of any bar or restaurant that would be established within 500 feet of church buildings.[ "Bar License Church Veto Struck Down," Binghamton Press, December 14, 1982, p.4A.] Examine this issue critically, taking special care to control your face-saving tendencies. State whether or not you agree with the court's decision and why. 7.Group discussion exercise: Discuss the following dialogue with two or three classmates. Decide the merits of Quentin's view. Be sure to check any tendency to face-saving that arises during discussion. Quentin: There'd be a lot less ignorance in the world today if parents didn't pass on their views to their children. Lois: How can they avoid doing so? Quentin: By letting children form their own views. There's no law that says Democrats have to make little Democrats of their children, or that Protestants have to pass on their Protestantism. Lois: What should they do when their children ask them about politics or religion or democracy? Quentin: send them to the encyclopedia, or, if the parents are capable of objective explanation, explain to them the various views that are possible and encourage them to choose their own. Lois: How can you ask a three-year-old to make a choice about religion or politics or philosophy? Quentin: in the case of young children and parents would simply explain as much as the children could understand and say that when they get older they can decide for themselves. Lois: How would all this benefit children or society? Quentin: it would make it possible for children to grow up without their parents' prejudices and would help control the number of ignoramuses in the world.